Why is this page called The Daily Coug?

This blog is called The Daily Coug because this blog is about me. Duh.

What is a “cougar,” in reference to a person?

Well, a cougar is me. I am a cougar. I am a 42 year old, twice divorced, mother of 2, who is attracted to younger men. Fucking, *rawr*. (For added effect, picture me with trying-to-be-seductive-but-really-look-like-I-am-just-about-to-sneeze eyes, curling my lip, and scratching the air with my fake big cat claws while “rawr”-ing.)

What all that has to do with the actual cougar animal, I really don’t know. I’m sure I could Google it, but I really don’t give that much of a shit about it, frankly. But when you describe a woman as a cougar, everyone knows what you’re talking about.

I decided to write a blog about my life for a couple reasons.

  1. I enjoy writing. I especially enjoy writing as a form of therapy.
  2. I have crap memory. Seriously. It’s embarrassing. And frustrating. And not just to me, but those around me who have to tell me things 50 times, and then are understandably annoyed when I tell them THEY have repeated something 3 times already. So, you know, writing helps a little with the shit memory.
  3. I am an empathetic person and I enjoy listening to people who are relatable to me and my situation, my life. So I figured perhaps I could offer the same for others.
  4. And I am definitely real and relatable. In my opinion, anyway. The least fake person I know. For now, that is. Because I want to be fake as hell, some day. I don’t mean personality wise (I honestly don’t think I have it in me to be fake in that sense), I mean physically. For real. I want those unnaturally perky, round tits where my nipples aren’t looking at the ground, afraid to make eye contact like some awkward child at their first school dance. I want some white ass teeth that will blind a bitch in a black light. I want a full upper lip that doesn’t disappear into oblivion when I’m talking or laughing. And don’t get me started on my double chin, loose skin, and stretch marks. Lipo and tummy-tuck, stat! Before you start in on me with “embrace your body, you’re beautiful, be happy with who you are and what your body has accomplished, it’s capabilities, surgery isn’t the answer, it won’t bring you happiness, yada, yada, yada…” , I want to say to you that you’re so sweet, and thank you so much for your support! You are SO right. Truly! Buuuut, I still want to, and intend to, give it a go! Just as soon as I stop being broke as hell, and get over my crippling fear of general anesthesia, I’ll get right on it.

Anyway, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The iceberg being me and why I’ve decided to start blogging. So now I begin, and see where I end up. Thanks for coming along for the ride!