I Should Go To My Room and Think About What I’ve Done

As a kid, and even as an adult, my parents have always tried to steer me in the right direction by giving me examples of how they “screwed up” when they were younger. They would tell me, “My dad/my mom told me so and so and I didn’t listen to him/her and this is what happened.” And I would reply not even remotely convincingly, “Yes, I understand. Trust me, I won’t do that.”

How hard my parents must be laughing right now. Or rolling their eyes. And while they’re doing that on the inside, they are still supporting me with “I’m sorry, I’ve been through that, it’s hard, you’ll get through this too.” They probably knew I was going to make some of the same stupid mistakes they did, just as I know that despite what I tell my daughters, they will make the same stupid mistakes I have.

What is it about us that makes us not listen to our parents? Why are we like this?

Recently, I have added a roommate to my house to help with rent, and I’m still looking for a second roommate. Why am I 42 years old, renting a house that I can’t afford, and asking strangers to come live with me so they can help me pay my bills? IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T LISTEN TO MY PARENTS, THAT’S WHY!!

Every single time I found myself scraping the bottom of the barrel I would tell myself, “Never. Again.” And yet…here I am. Again. *Scrape, scrape, scrape.*

And every time I would get back on my feet, I would celebrate by needlessly throwing money away. Oh how I can’t stand myself sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe you should not just save all of your money; you need to LIVE, experience life, enjoy yourself for this short time you’re alive and relatively healthy and free! But Jesus H. Christ on a cracker, you still have to BUDGET! And that is not something I excel at. In the least.

So here I am again to say, Mom and Dad, you were right. You were so, so right. And I was so very wrong. I wish I would have listened to you. I wish my daughters would listen to me. I know I’ve made mistakes that have made you feel ashamed of and for me, as I’ve felt the exact same about myself. But I know you love me regardless. I know you’ll still be there when I’m frustrated, crying, scared, telling me it’s all going to be ok. And you’re going to give me some new great advice. You need to know this: You were right. And I love you. I love you so much. Don’t give up on me. I’m not hopeless. It’s taking me longer than I expected, but I am finding my way.

Listen to your parents. They are not right about everything, but I guaranfuckingtee they are not wrong about everything either.

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